I find myself at the half-time of my career. My time in the corporate world has been (mostly) fun and rewarding. I have been abundantly blessed with opportunity and supportive colleagues.
As I consider how the second half of my career game will be played, I am more focused on the impact I can make in all the varied aspects of my life (not just career). I am less focused on the "big role".
The discernment process has produced a handful of "lessons" that ring true for me. Some of these I have shared regularly with those whom I have had the honor of mentoring. They may not all ring true for you, but perhaps they spark some thought about the type of impact you intend to have, whether you are just heading out onto the field or heading into over-time.
#1 Work-life balance is a myth.
Peers have often remarked that I have good work-life balance. They meant it as a compliment but I tended to take it to mean “we recognize you have priorities in your life in addition to your work and so long as you continue to not make it too obvious that we are not the only thing you spend your time on, then it’s OK”.
But what do people really mean when they say “work-life balance”? Work is part of life. As are family, friends, recreational activities, church, relaxing, politics, on and on. If we “balanced” all the aspects of our being, then each would be given equal attention.
I maintain that what people really mean when they accuse you of good “work-life balance” is that you take care to give each aspect of your life the attention it needs at that moment.
Sometimes, work needs you the most – so you turn your attention there and other aspects get a little less attention for a while.
Sometimes, your family needs you the most – so you while you don’t abandon other responsibilities, the family’s need comes first.
“Work-life balance” is simply discernment about how to allocate the scarce resources of your time and energy in a manner that supports those that depend upon you. And that allocation is constantly shifting.
#2 Be defined by your impact, not your role/title/airline status.
Of course every young career person is fixated on the magical day when they will earn a big, important title. They imagine confidently sitting at their new desk in their big corner office and being respected by all.
Set aside the fact that no one works in an office any longer…
Turns out that the progressively bigger titles and roles with progressively larger scope are only meaningful if you DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH THEM.
At one point, I was “so busy” at work that I made the decision to cut back on my community and church involvement. Looking back, I realize how astoundingly stupid and selfish that was.
The executives that I most admire are regularly active in their community, national organizations and philanthropic endeavors. They pick a cause and devote their treasure to it. They consider it their responsibility as a corporate leader to also be a community leader.
I now understand that I would much rather be defined by what I contribute. That contribution may be to an employer, a business endeavor, a charity, a fund-raiser, or my family. No one cares about my title, the big corporate role I may hold or how many airline miles I have accumulated. What matters is the impact that I have on the people in my sphere of influence.
I wonder if some of those boards I resigned from will let me back on?
#3 Be helpful…even if it’s not your job.
I am tickled when someone thinks I can help them. Often I can’t, but I really appreciate that they thought of me as an expert or at least a resource. If I can’t help with their problem, maybe I can point them in the right direction of someone who can.
One of the nicest compliments I have received as a leader is that I was an accessible executive. My team knew that they could reach out to me and I would…respond. Just that simple.
First of all, responding is simply the polite thing to do. It might even allow a critical initiative to move forward. Besides, helping others releases endorphins.
Secondly and selfishly, the person I help today might be able to help me tomorrow. Why would I want to shut myself off from that possibility?
And let’s not forget Maya Angelou’s famous words. (Or are they her words? There is doubt on the internet https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/06/they-feel/). Regardless of who said it, it is true that people will remember how you made them feel rather than what you said. That is good news for me because what I say might not be that smart, but at least I cared enough to try to help.
#4 In the long run, putting the company’s interests first is the same as putting your interests first.
The CEO and founder of the first health care company I worked for (North American Medical Management – eons ago) told us over and over that if we do what’s right for the patient, the finances will follow.
As a true believer in value-based care, this is one of my core values. Do everything possible to keep people healthy and when that fails, act quickly and with the best of evidenced based care.
I believe this is true in all aspects of business - and community and family. Self-interest may (usually does) benefit the self-interested one in the short term. But in the end, supporting the larger organization’s goals makes the organization and its members stronger.
I might prefer to delay a hire so that I can report great budget numbers at the upcoming performance review. It would be more fun to make cocktails after work rather than take the dog for a walk, prepare dinner and help with homework. Either of these actions will have positive results in the short term.
But in the long term, these actions do not move the organization forward and might even cause harm. The impact of self-centered decisions always catch up in the end.
#5 Say it with confidence, even if you don’t feel it.
I occasionally lector (proclaim the day’s Bible readings) at Mass. I used to lector all the time but now just make guest appearances at weddings and funerals.
Believe it or not, you have to be TRAINED to be a lector – you don’t just get up and start reading out loud. You are coached in the volume and projection of your voice. You learn not to speak too fast and when to pause appropriately.
Every now and again, you run across a proper noun (an ancient name or place) in the readings that you are not sure how to pronounce.
I have learned to just plow ahead and say the word, with complete (faked) confidence, however I think it might be said. Chances are that most folks listening to me have no idea how to say the word either. Even if I say it incorrectly, the audience focuses on the intent of the reading rather than my stumbling.
I find that when I am feeling a bit shy in a business meeting, if I can just muster up the same (fake) confidence and plow through what I have to say, the audience reacts positively to my confidence, which in turn makes my confidence not so fake.
#6 Admit you don’t know the answer and ask when you need help. But don’t try to B.S. your way through it.
I have had some amazing bosses in my career. Each one taught me something important.
One of my former leaders incited fear in most people. They reacted to his habit of chewing pens and raising his voice. They were anxious about the probing questions he would surprise them with.
I never felt that way. Sure, I took great care to anticipate his questions and be well prepared. I learned to recognize the pen-chewing as deep thinking. I probably would have cried if he raised his voice to me.
But he never did…because I never tried to B.S. him. If I did not know, I admitted I did not know. If I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, I never made excuses and tried harder next time. I learned from my errors and took advantage of the knowledge he shared with me.
As a result, he respected me. And I had nothing to fear. And I was rewarded with increasing opportunity.
And those that did try to B.S. him – he could smell that from a mile away and they were right to be afraid.
#7 Even leaders mess up…assume good intent.
One of the more sobering realizations of leadership is that leaders are human.
Before I became a leader myself, I guess I thought my leaders somehow just “knew” what to do without agonizing over their decisions.
They don’t. They have to figure it out like the rest of us. Presumably they have all the attributes that we associate with good leaders, but they make mistakes, too.
Cut them some slack. They are trying to do what is best for the company and for their teams. When they get it wrong, assume it was not purposeful.
#8 It’s OK to be vulnerable. Your team wants to know who you are and if you are worth following.
Not all leaders are approachable. Hopefully they are accessible – meaning that you can get their attention when you need it.
Being approachable is more about letting people see who you are and what makes you tick. It is about sharing triumphs, failures, fears, goals, history, laughs and tears. It is about being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable can and does often expose a weakness that can be exploited. But it also endears your team and makes them want to stand with you to achieve something other than a paycheck. People spend a lot of their time and energy working and they want to feel connected to the people they work with. They want to know that you as a leader are worth following.
So, put it out there. Don’t be afraid to expose your weak side because your team will have your back.
#9 Do what’s right, not what’s popular.
I once received feedback from a colleague that went something like: “Beckie can be counted on to do what’s right, even if it is not popular”.
That comment made me step back a bit. It was absolutely intended as positive feedback and that is exactly how I took it – even if the high school girl inside me still yearned to be “popular”.
But the comment implies that the more popular/easier/less contentious solution is likely to be chosen by some, even if that is not the solution that aligns with the organization’s long term mission and success.
Be the leader that your team knows is choosing the long game over the short win.
#10 Raise your hand for the stretch assignment…you are smart and will figure it out.
My husband became frustrated with me on multiple occasions as I sweated over a new project or role. I would worry that the role was too much for me, that I was not ready for it, or that I simply did not have the knowledge. He would remind me that I felt the same way the last time I had a new opportunity but that I did not mess up as I had feared.
I occasionally have the honor of mentoring other professionals that suffer from a similar lack of confidence as their roles progress. They worry that the Peter Principle will catch up to them or that this role is the one that taps them out.
But, let’s be clear…you have already demonstrated that you are smart and competent. Even if you are not a subject matter expert in {fill in the blank}, you are smart enough to learn what you need to on the topic and apply your considerable talents to that knowledge.
So take the stretch assignment. Trust that your brain will work (it has before!).
Comments