I have previously shared a bit about our family’s journey to safety, health and happiness (https://www.eight2eightpursuits.com/post/trading-a-year-for-a-lifetime). If you have followed along, you know that our daughter spent time in the Utah desert at a wilderness therapy program and is currently attending a therapeutic boarding school.
I decided to start writing about our journey in the hopes of encouraging parents and families who have a young person who is hurting and in need. I would like to provide a few words of hope and a listening ear.
I am guilty of regularly attributing human-like qualities to inanimate objects. It’s called anthropomorphism and while I recall learning about it in school, I do not recall why it was important that I learn about it.
My most egregious objectification is the naming of my car (her name is Gwen). Living in Texas, where walking is generally not an option and public transportation – well, it’s not an option either, your vehicle becomes a companion of sorts. It accompanies you on adventures. It helps you remove yourself from uncomfortable situations. It does not complain about your loud and off-key singing, especially when you don’t know all the right words to the song. Gwen was all this and more.
But alas the time had come for Gwen to bless another family and, with a considerable amount of guilt, I exchanged her for an exact, albeit several years newer, replica. This car has yet to tell me what her name is (I will know when her license plate arrives), so for now she is “Jane”.
Here’s where the story turns sad. Less than 24 hours after taking delivery of Jane, THIS HAPPENED! (the graphic nature of the accompanying picture may be too disturbing for more sensitive readers).
This was no ordinary rock chip…the crack almost immediately spread to over 12” long and grew tentacles.
Of course I was disappointed…who wouldn’t be?
Once the initial round of nausea passed, I determined to find the positive in this event.
1. Jane was hit by a rock…she could have been hit by something much more disastrous.
2. Only the windshield was damaged…and it is easily repaired.
3. I have the resources to get the repairs done. And,
4. Jane is still my companion, my fellow-adventurer, my car-pool karaoke partner.
That got me to thinking about how we all have our “cracks” or “dings”. None of us are “showroom floor” perfect. But that makes us no less worthy of companionship, love, adventure, fulfillment.
Then that got me to thinking about our daughter. Her path to safety, health and happiness has been an expedition across rough terrain in a vehicle with blown suspension. She will have some scratches.
And I hope she wears those scratches unapologetically. I admit to being anxious about how her scratches will be accepted by others. Will the college admissions or scholarship committee be troubled by the gap in her high-school career? Will her future mother-in-law-to-be discourage her son from marrying a girl that has “a history of mental health concerns”?
I implore the world to see her scratches as testaments to her perseverance and courage. I ask the college admissions committee to see the tenacity that was required to finish high school and applaud the desire for further education. I pray the future MIL will love her scratches as much as I do.
But to close the story on Jane…Yes, she has a new windshield. Yes, she will get more cracks, dings and scratches. She will be my faithful companion and together we will serenade the roadways.
If it would be helpful to know the resources our family has used to seek help and healing:
The Envoy Group (https://www.theenvoygroup.com/) assists families, at no charge, in finding the right wilderness program, therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center.
StarGuides (https://starguideswilderness.com/) helps both boys and girls break dangerous addictions through therapeutic wilderness experiences in the beautiful Utah desert.
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