I have previously shared a bit about our family’s journey to safety, health and happiness (https://www.eight2eightpursuits.com/post/trading-a-year-for-a-lifetime). If you have followed along, you know that our daughter spent time in the Utah desert at a wilderness therapy program and is currently attending a therapeutic boarding school.
I decided to start writing about our journey in the hopes of encouraging parents and families who have a young person who is hurting and in need. I would like to provide a few words of hope and a listening ear.
The temperature outside had not made its way above freezing for days and remained in the single digits for well over 36 hours. The power went out for almost 3 days and it became dangerously frigid inside homes without alternate heating sources. The water, if there was pressure, had to be boiled to be safe. Some had to cut off water to their homes due to burst pipes…and anxiously await in-demand plumbers and discover creative bathing techniques.
This latest series of winter storms has affected most of the nation – BUT TEXAS IS NOT MADE FOR THIS! A hurricane? I know what to do and have the resources to cope. An arctic blast that lasts for days where the infrastructure was never intended to withstand this sort of onslaught? I am out of my league.
I truly recognize that so many of my fellow Texans are suffering far more than my family. Some have lost their lives and many have damage to their homes that is overwhelming. I am counting my blessings.
And speaking of blessings…our daughter had a home visit…during the winter storm…in a house with no power or water. This was supposed to be her first “normal” home visit – meaning there were no holiday gatherings, both parents were working, her sister was off at college. She was supposed to practice what returning to our home might look like.
At the school, all the girls live together in a small dormitory/house and unless someone has a family visit, they are all together 24/7. Think on that for a moment: over a dozen teenage girls who are together constantly. There is always some sort of drama with an undercurrent of hormones. Add to that the unique needs of each girl that attends this therapeutic boarding school…yikes. Our daughter often complains that life in the dorm is really hard, almost like Survivor with factions being formed and quickly re-formed as the collective mood undulates.
Her therapist at the school refers to the environment as “Samurai Training”. The students are learning how to be safe and healthy in a fairly stressful environment that will test all their weak spots. In the safety of the school, fractures in their emotional well-being can be identified and treated, making the girls more resilient and less prone to resuming dangerous behaviors when they return home.
And more “Samurai Training” is exactly what our daughter experienced on this home visit. Instead of learning how to keep herself occupied in healthy ways, starting to connect with the (few) safe friends she still has, learning how to prioritize her time to complete schoolwork – all the things she was supposed to be working on – she was instead covering plants against oncoming cold (turned out to be a fruitless effort), reminding us we could flush toilets with pool water, and instructing us in the art of bathing without running water that she learned in the desert. And she managed to get all her schoolwork completed – in the dark.
This was not the home visit we intended, but it was a rousing success. It proved to us that all her sacrifices (and ours) are paying off. Had this happened two years ago…well, it would not have been healthy for any of us. And if “Samurai Training” is a necessary part of the process, then she got an extra helping.
However, I recognize that difficult circumstances often bring out the best in people. People feel called into action and they put aside their own issues for a short time. But it is in the “normal” times, when you have to live in your own head, that there is more opportunity to revert to dangerous ways of thinking and acting. This is the environment our daughter needs on her home visits so that we practice being safe in during ordinary life – because hopefully an Arctic Apocalypse is not a “normal” occurrence for us here in Texas.
If it would be helpful to know the resources our family has used to seek help and healing:
The Envoy Group (https://www.theenvoygroup.com/) assists families, at no charge, in finding the right wilderness program, therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center.
StarGuides (https://starguideswilderness.com/) helps both boys and girls break dangerous addictions through therapeutic wilderness experiences in the beautiful Utah desert.
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